"Decisions" or "You asked for it"

Hi friends, surprise it's Gregg :)  i know i don't write on here that much (i'll share more about why in another post later), but today you may just get 2 whole posts out of me.  exciting :)  I plan to write a general update on the both of us a little later, but I wanted to share some personal thoughts here that I jotted down this morning.


now what i don't want to do is to pretend that my thoughts are so profound that you would want to read them, but i know that it's good for us to share what we're thinking, profound or shallow, because it brings us closer and maybe we can all learn & grow from it.


first, a little context, i received a job offer on friday and i have until tomorrow afternoon to accept it. since our return, our thoughts and prayers have been focused on how our lives will look after our experience in guatemala, where God taught us a ton and continues to challenge our worldviews.  so, with that backdrop, i wanted to share what i jotted down today.  It may read a little bit random, kelley can tell you that my mind jumps around a lot and it's not always easy to follow for someone outside my brain, but i hope it may strike a chord with maybe at least one of you :) oh and then there's an excerpt from C.S. Lewis that kinda goes along with it.  


9/20 - Decision
I have a decision to make today.  What a great thing it is to have an option, to have the freedom to make a decision.  Lord, I ask you to not only be so kind as to speak to me, to put your will on my heart, but also to help me listen and act.  In reality we have a choice everyday, you're constantly calling us, seeking us, running after us.  You love us, help us to love you; to not only say it, but do it because the world needs to see you and you've chosen us - the weak, broken, and humble - to show them.  I don't want to mess up, but even so, I know I will sometimes, and I am nevertheless comforted in knowing you are gracious and merciful.  I pray that I will identify with the ones the world is rejecting, the world's outcasts are the Kings and Queens of your Kingdom.


I used to always ask you Lord to completely captivate my heart, soul, mind, and body - that I would truly seek you with all my being.  I hear you calling me, probably clearer than I've ever heard you; I have more proof that only in you, in your perfect path that you've created for us, will we find our joy.  I ask you now to not let me step outside of it.  What a tragedy it would be to ask for it, to see it, and then turn away from it.  Let me not be a tragedy; I pray that I would cause you to rejoice, that my life would be pleasing to you.  You are continually pursuing us; thankfully, your leisurely, patient pace is is much faster than my fastest sprint; you have caught me.


There is beauty and liberation in choice; I think there's a different beauty and liberation in a lack of choice, an inescapable duty perhaps allows us to focus on the task at hand and not be distracted at "what could have been".  Regardless, now I am faced with a choice, help me to choose right.  end


C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair, chapter 2
"Are you not thirsty?" said the Lion.
"I'm dying of thirst," said Jill.
"Then drink," said the Lion.
"May I ----could I -----would you mind going away while I do?," said the Jill.


The Lion answered this only by a look and a very low growl.  And as Jill gazed at its motionless build, she realized that she might as well have asked the whole mountain to move aside for her convenience.


The delicious rippling noise of the stream was driving her nearly frantic.


"Will you promise not to----do anything to me, if I do come?," said Jill.
"I make no promise," said the Lion.


Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer.


"Do you eat girls?," she said.
"I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms," said the Lion.


It didn't say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry.  It just said it.


"I daren't come and drink," said Jill.
"Then you will die of thirst," said the Lion.
"Oh dear!," said Jill, coming another step nearer.  "I suppose I must go and look for another stream then."
"There is no other stream," said the Lion


end