Joy, discouragement, love, hate, fear, confidence... Life is a tornado of emotions, all of which I think I've felt over the last week or so of saying goodbye to a group of friends and a country we came to call home over the last 10 months, and in the middle of which I sit here, back home in familiar settings writing this note to you Kelley. It's been a while since I've written you a love letter which is a shame because through all the emotions I feel sitting here, one thing I know for certain is that I've never loved you more. But what better setting could I create than the one I have now - moving from uncertainty to uncertainty but always being certain that we have a God that loves us and knows his perfect plan for us, and knowing that we have each other as we experience this world together. In this setting I am writing this morning to try to express but just a hint of how much I love you and how greatly for you I'm thankful, because, without you, I don't know where I'd be, but I know it wouldn't be a place worth comparing to where I am now.
I am so thankful for the last 10 months we've spent in Guatemala, and through my admittedly tearful goodbyes to the relationships we made during this time it hit me that without the push from you I wouldn't have had the chance to experience the incredible things God had to show us in Guatemala. Without your influence, I would not understand how to go beyond merely calling on God, but how to answer His call on our lives - up to this point, I've done well to think about and even express what I need from God, but not too good at responding when He calls me to act and enter into something different and bigger than what I've come to know as "life". You see, I'm good at thinking, reasoning, acting logically and staying within the boundaries that are "acceptable" as an educated young American business-man; but you've helped me understand there's a time to think and reason things out, and a time to act and live things out. With this trip, I've took needed step from having a faith well thought out, to a faith well lived out. And as we prepare for the next phase in our life, another strange city, away from our familiar circles of friends and family, I'm so thankful that God has shown us that our friends are truly everywhere and that I will have you, my wife and my best friend, by my side through it all.
I love you wife :-) |